Perhaps you chose a different career path, are living a lifestyle your family doesn’t agree with, or speak the truth of your experience in a way that confronts unspoken agreements and hidden truths of the family system. And as a result, it’s clear you’ve upset, disappointed, or alienated important people in the family.

You likely grew up in a family that had a very strong culture – often shaped by one or two strong-willed caregivers who made the rules of belonging and acceptance clear (whether those rules were about the career path, religion, or lifestyle that were allowed – or whether it was about agreeing to never acknowledge the dysfunction going on). Unfortunately, those rules never quite felt right to you. You might have even seen other family members playing along – and it seemed like you were just wired differently. It was hard to find your place and be seen for the beautiful gifts you bring.

As a cycle-breaker, the Black Sheep tries to change the family by living differently themselves and telling the truth. This can look like naming what’s really happening, setting boundaries, choosing a different life path, or walking away from overwhelming expectations.